Tuesday 28 January 2014

The Great Pasta Disaster

I shouldn't really tell you this, but I pride myself on my brutal honesty, so here goes...
My snazzy pasta machine

My middle sister got me a pasta machine for my birthday- fancy attachments and all- and I've been dying to use it. I googled countless recipes, asked a multitude of friends/family for ideas and then finally settled on a basic Jamie Oliver pasta dough recipe.
Dough a la Jamie 

Now let me tell you, despite his often cringeworthy exterior, I'm a big Jamie fan. I like the ease of most of his recipes and his chilled out make-do attitude. However... I have never had such a culinary disaster in my entire life. I'm no Nigella, but I pride myself on my cooking skills. I can make a mean almost anything (except cakes) and I have a bit of a creative streak when it comes to the kitchen. My family and boyfriend love my food- or they at least tell me they do- and I can be a bit boastful if I think I've created a masterpiece. 

All this just made the "Pasta Disaster" worse! I'd been talking about it since Friday- I rang my mum whose on holiday just to tell her my marvellous plan, I told my colleagues at work and an old school friend. I made a 30 mile round trip for the £18 worth of pissing ingredients, and worst of all I could already imagine what it was going to taste and look like. I'd pretty much written a majorly big-headed post about how gorgeous it was and how fabulous I am.

I should have known really shouldn't I... 

It should have been prawn and smoked salmon tortellini with a lemon cream sauce. 
Poor, wasted prawns

HA! It wasn't! What is was, was a lovely creamy, fishy filling, encased in a flabby mass of chewey white... rubber, that took two and a half hours to make. You know in zombie films, those pieces of "flesh" that adorn all the extras to make them look more dead and falling apart? Well it would have been amazing for that! Or when a paddling pool gets an annoying tear that renders it useless, TA-DA, I've invented a fantastic paddling pool repair kit. And the best, most helpful use of my new invention? A hammock! I'm pretty sure if it had been long enough it would have held my weight and been pretty comfy. Durable bloody stuff it was!

The only real blessing in the whole saga, is that I hadn't made the lemon cream sauce yet. Which means there is currently a tub of cream sat nicely in the fridge! I was so disheartened last night that I nearly downed the lot, but it'll be a wonderful addition to this weeks coffees, naughty.

Please let me know if you've had any similar disasters, I can honestly tell you that sharing the shame helps, even the man in the takeaway at 10.30 last night was sympathetic!

Katy x

1 comment:

  1. Aaah no, such a shame it didn't work!! I can just imagine you telling the man in the takeaway all about it afterwards though :D I'll ask Ben what recipe we used for the pasta dough, but I think it was a Jamie one (Ben is obsessed with him!). Or it might be my dad's recipe?! Did you use double zero flour? I'll try and sneak you some from the bakery sometime if you want - my dad gave us a whole sack once! Apparently that works best :)